Many victims of narcissistic abuse may find themselves feeling overwhelmed or unprepared to take the step of going No Contact.

Regardless of where you are in your journey of dealing with this traumatic experience, establishing the practice of keeping a log of events and journaling regularly can be incredibly grounding and empowering. By documenting your experiences and emotions, you create a tangible record of your reality, bypassing the gaslighting attempts of the abuser. 

Regular journaling allows you to reflect on past incidents, identify patterns of manipulation, and gain clarity on your emotions and thoughts. It serves as a tool for validation and self-reflection, enabling you to piece together your experiences and reclaim your sense of truth and agency. Whether you are contemplating going No Contact or navigating the aftermath of such a decision, the act of journaling can provide a source of strength, validation, and empowerment on your journey towards healing and reclaiming your life.

It is important to keep these details when logging event

☐ Healing: Documenting the incident aids in the healing process by providing a tangible record of experiences, validating emotions, and aiding in processing.

☐ Legal Proceedings: Detailed documentation serves as crucial evidence in court, strengthening the case against the abuser and potentially securing justice for the survivor.

☐ Therapy: Therapists can utilize documented information to understand abuse dynamics better, tailor treatment approaches, track progress, and identify areas for further exploration in therapy.

☐ Building Better Relationships: Understanding abusive tactics empowers survivors to recognize similar patterns in future relationships, establish healthier boundaries, and avoid potential abuse.

Here of some essential details to put in each log so you have the materials to piece together a timeline.

• Incident Summary

• Location of the Incident

• Date of Incident

• Time of Incident

• Abuser’s Name

• Ancillary Persons

Names of any Flying Monkeys or Proxy Abusers

• Names of any witnesses

• Name of secondary victims

Seconday victims could be children who are also being abused, have witnessed abuse. Or they could be people who have gotten hurt as a result of the narcissists abuse on you.

• List of tactics used by the abuser

Gaslighting: Abuser denies previous incidents, making the victim doubt their perception

Intimidation: Abuser raises voice, makes threatening gestures

Isolation: Abuser limits victim’s contact with friends and family

Manipulation:  Abuser uses guilt to control victim’s behavior

• Detailed Log

Describe the incident in detail, including interactions, statements made, and reactions Note any physical or emotional harm inflicted on victims

• Log Media

Catalog video, audio, or picture associated with the incident. Document any evidence such as recordings or photographs that corroborate the incident